The Mirroring Effect

Another hospital another chemo session for my mother. Then admission because she has not eaten in about 2 weeks. It’s been an ongoing process for a year now and sometimes it’s hard to keep the positive energy. You see my mother is her own worst enemy with her negative thoughts. Now you may think, well this is easy for you as your are not the one with the cancer and that is true!But the thing is her consultant has advised her that the bone cancer is being maintained and that is a good thing. It is not the cancer that is killing her, it is the thoughts of the disease taking control. She is fighting the cancer and the depression that comes with it. She is also grieving for my dad, her husband who has been brain damaged from brain tumours. He is not the same man he once was and that is something that she is going through too. In sickness and in health, til death do us part!

My dad was a successful business man, owning his own flooring business. Looking after my mam and family ( 8 children, 6 boys and 2 girls) One of my brothers died when he was 6 years old from a heart aneurysm. Dad was always on the go, very active and enjoying life to the full. Then one morning he woke up very disorientated and dizzy.  That was apparently a bleed on the brain and a warning that something serious was wrong. He called into the local doctor straight away and was sent for scans. We thought he was getting alzheimers because of his forgetfulness. When he was diagnosed, we were relieved that it was not alzheimers and that they could remove the tumours.  And they did successfully but more returned but the neuro surgeon was not dismayed and acted in my dads best interests. Although it has been a bit of a struggle at times, my dad is in great spirits. He can no longer read or write or drive and has started speaking in different languages, Itialian mainly but that’s ok! Well he doesn’t really speak the language but makes out that he is speaking it with CIAO and GRAZIE. It is quite funny!

He has successfully gone through 2 brain operations and radiation. His speech and word association and sight in his right eye have all been effected. The thing is he has a totally different outlook. Although, he gets very frustrated when he cannot say what he wants to say, he has adapted his life and is very active. He does not think the way my mother thinks and is looking forward to living life everyday. Not in constant fear of the unknown. Even though there is some brain damage, he always looked at the world differently and a more positive person.

This is the second time they have cancer, dad had kidney cancer 9 years ago and mam had breast 7 years ago. And YES, they beat it then and they will do it again. I call it the MIRRORING EFFECT, when someone mirrors your gestures, actions etc…, and I believe diseases too. It’s like when one parent is sick the other is sick in unison to show support of some kind. It doesn’t really make sense but you often hear when someone dies and their partner follows on soon after because they have lost the will to live. It’s the heartbreak!

I can only really imagine how my mother feels and I do as much as I can to try help her and be more positive. I am a Reiki master and give her weekly sessions and although they seem to make her more relaxed, her mind starts to cloud over and takes control again.

The mind is a very powerful thing! If used in a positive way, I believe that you can be anyone you want to be or do anything you want to do.

I know that cancer incorporates so much more than the illness itself, it has both physical and emotional elements and that is very difficult for the individual going through it and the people looking on who feel helpless but at the same time trying everything to cheer the person up. The carers job is so important and I didn’t realise that until I became one!

I feel responsible when they are sick and not in good form and although it is very draining, I also feel privilaged that I can give my parents something back for providing for me and giving me many things over the years.

I do believe that they will both make a full recovery and will start to enjoy life again! I do believe that my mother will enjoy every minute, every day living in the moment instead of constantly fearing the future. I am so grateful for them and will help them in their fight against Cancer and the disabling emotions that accompany it.I AM A VERY POSITIVE PERSON WHO BELIEVES IN LIVING, LIVING A FULL HAPPY LIFE!

About Lisalovesnow

I'm a energetic free spirit who loves life and positive people. I like to try new things, anything from parachuting to eating exotic foods. Well exotic to me! I love to travel and meet new people from all walks of life. I find talking to people and laughing a great therapy. I definitely have had low points in my life and possibly will in the future but this has definitely made me the person I am today and a kinder, stronger, better person who takes on life with both hands and will not let it take me down. I believe that life is for living and living well, laughing lots and passing on good energy to everyone !
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